The Science Behind a Good Bedtime Routine for Children

Why do bedtime routines work?

Humans are very good at learning patterns.

When the same sequence of events happens repeatedly, we begin to associate those events with what normally comes next.

Adults experience this too.

You might make a cup of tea before sitting down in the evening, put on a particular programme after dinner or automatically start feeling hungry when lunchtime approaches.

Children can develop similar associations around bedtime.

Bath.

Pyjamas.

Teeth.

Story.

Cuddle.

Lights out.

When those events happen in roughly the same order each evening, they can become signals that sleep is approaching.

Researchers describe a bedtime routine as a predictable series of activities before sleep. One review of children's sleep health explains that the individual steps can effectively become part of a behavioural chain leading towards bedtime.

In other words, children gradually learn:

This is what we do before we go to sleep.

Consistency appears to matter

One of the most interesting findings from bedtime-routine research is that it is not simply a question of whether a family has a routine.

How consistently that routine happens may matter too.

A large international study examining more than 10,000 young children found a dose-dependent relationship between bedtime routines and sleep outcomes.

Children with more consistent bedtime routines tended to have earlier bedtimes, shorter periods between going to bed and falling asleep, fewer night wakings and more nighttime sleep.

That does not prove that the bedtime routine alone caused every one of those differences.

Families who maintain consistent routines may differ in other ways too, and researchers themselves acknowledge those limitations.

But the pattern is interesting:

The more regularly bedtime routines occurred, the better the reported sleep outcomes tended to be.

Another study following young children over time found that adherence to a bedtime routine predicted increases in nighttime sleep between 30 and 36 months of age.

So consistency seems to be more important than creating an elaborate routine.

What should a children's bedtime routine include?

There is no single scientifically perfect bedtime routine.

Different families have different schedules, cultures, homes and children.

A useful routine might be as simple as:

• Bath or wash
• Pyjamas
• Brush teeth
• Choose a book
• Read together
• Cuddle
• Goodnight

Researchers reviewing bedtime routines for young children have suggested that good routines often contain a small number of calm, positive activities such as washing, brushing teeth, reading and positive interaction with a parent or caregiver.

The NHS also recommends beginning a winding-down bedtime routine around 30 minutes before a child's usual sleep time and gives reading one story as an example of something families might include.

The exact activities matter less than creating something that works for your family and is realistic enough to repeat.

A routine that looks perfect on paper but lasts ninety minutes and leaves everybody exhausted probably isn't much of a routine.

Why is reading so often part of bedtime?

Reading happens to fit very neatly into what we want from the period before sleep.

It is usually quiet.

It involves sitting or lying down.

It reduces the need for highly stimulating activity.

And it gives children something interesting to focus on without requiring them to run around the room.

It can also create positive interaction between a child and whoever is reading with them.

That is why reading regularly appears in recommendations around bedtime routines. Researchers looking at what an “optimal” routine might contain have included reading, sharing a book or telling a story among the useful calm activities before bed.

Of course, the dinosaur in the story may be having the most exciting night of his life.

Fortunately, your child can experience the adventure while remaining under the duvet.

Why predictability can help children

Adults generally like knowing what is happening next.

Children are no different.

Imagine if bedtime happened differently every evening.

One night you suddenly announce bed at 7pm.

The next night it is 8pm.

Sometimes there is a bath.

Sometimes there is television.

Sometimes there are three stories.

Sometimes the lights simply go off.

That unpredictability can make transitions harder.

A routine creates expectations.

When brushing teeth is always followed by choosing a story, and choosing a story is always followed by getting into bed, there is less uncertainty about what is coming next.

That does not mean children will always happily cooperate.

Knowing bedtime is approaching and wanting bedtime to approach are two very different things.

But predictability gives them a framework.

What about screens before bed?

This is one area where many bedtime recommendations are fairly consistent.

Calmer activities are generally preferred as bedtime approaches, and researchers developing recommendations for children's bedtime routines include avoiding stimulating activities and electronic devices such as televisions, phones, tablets and games consoles during the period before bed.

That does not mean parents need to panic if their child occasionally watches something in the evening.

Real family life does not operate under laboratory conditions.

But replacing the final part of the evening with quieter activities can make the transition from daytime activity to bedtime more obvious.

A book is particularly convenient because it still provides entertainment.

It just does it at a rather slower pace.

Does a bedtime routine need to happen at exactly the same time?

Not necessarily.

There is a difference between consistency and perfection.

Families have birthdays.

They visit grandparents.

Parents work late.

Children fall asleep in the car.

Sometimes dinner takes longer than expected.

Sometimes the entire evening simply goes wrong.

A useful bedtime routine should survive real life.

It is generally the familiar pattern and regularity that matters, rather than completing every step at precisely 7:03pm every night.

Research reviews suggest maintaining similar steps as consistently as reasonably possible, rather than requiring an inflexible schedule.

If tonight's story happens fifteen minutes later than yesterday's, you have not ruined anything.

How long should a bedtime routine take?

Again, there is no magic number.

The NHS suggests beginning a winding-down routine around 30 minutes before the time a child usually falls asleep.

Research-based recommendations have similarly suggested relatively short routines containing only a few positive activities rather than allowing bedtime to stretch indefinitely.

For some families, twenty minutes will work beautifully.

Others may need longer.

The important question is probably:

Could we realistically do something similar tomorrow night?

If the answer is yes, you probably have the beginnings of a sustainable routine.

What if our bedtime routine is a complete mess?

Welcome to parenting.

There is a danger with articles about children's routines that they accidentally create another standard parents feel they are failing to meet.

That is not particularly useful.

Research deals in averages and associations.

Your household contains an actual child.

Some children settle easily.

Some don't.

Some love baths.

Some suddenly behave as though water is their lifelong enemy.

One child may happily listen to three stories.

Another may spend most of the first story upside down.

A good routine does not need to look impressive.

It needs to work reasonably well for the people living in your house.

Start small.

Choose a few things you can repeat.

Keep the end of the evening calmer where possible.

And don't abandon the whole idea because Tuesday was a disaster.

The science is actually reassuring

Perhaps the nicest thing about the research on bedtime routines is how ordinary the recommended activities are.

You do not need expensive sleep products.

You do not need a complicated system.

You do not need to turn your home into a perfectly controlled environment.

The things that repeatedly appear are remarkably simple.

Consistency.

Calm activities.

Brushing teeth.

Talking.

A cuddle.

A story.

Then bed.

Research suggests that routines like these can be associated with better sleep and can provide opportunities for other positive parts of children's development too.

And on the evenings when it all works beautifully, enjoy it.

On the evenings when somebody is bouncing around the bedroom wearing only one sock while insisting they are definitely not tired?

Tomorrow is another night.